Untitled Piece 1

Here is another odd little piece of poetry I came across. I don’t even recall writing this one at all. It was buried in an old folder from work.

My inner child is screaming,

My eyes just won’t stop bleeding,

I’m on the brink of euphoria,

I’m blind to my own dreams,

I’ve turned my back on society,

Sacrificed my propriety,

Laid my soul across the yellow line,

Waiting for a tanker full of revelations,

I’ve laid my self to rest,

Folded my hands upon my chest,

Osmosis draws the pain inside me,

I’m filled past overflowing,

It’s not so bad really,

Pretending otherwise is silly,

I thought pain and sorrow had no ending,

But even the sharpest knife grows dull,

When life and love lose meaning,

When young men halt their preening,

When heartbreak fades to empty,

Tranquillity is achieved,

That’s where I’ll lie waiting,

Mentally masturbating,

Prepared to expel these seeds of truth?

Perhaps they aren’t worth mentioning,

My inner child was screaming,

For a life devoid of meaning,

I drove a dagger through his throat,

Now I’m deafened by the silence.

Advertisements

Young Bloods

This is one of the other rare pieces that I consider at least a little bit on the good side of my creative talent. It is tentatively entitled “Young Bloods.”

Have I sinned?

Should I care?

Who have I sinned against?

Is it God?

Or perhaps Society?

Does it matter either way?

 

Have I hurt you?

Do you hate me?

Have I loved you?

Have I possesed you?

Was it your will or mine?

Was it both?

 

You were so young.

I was in my prime.

You were full of life.

I was slowly dying inside.

Your world was just opening before your eyes.

Mine had been unraveling for quite some time.

 

We met by chance.

At a Christmas party.

You were fifteen.

Beautiful in your emerald dress.

I was ten years advanced.

Solemn in black velvet.

 

We were two shooting stars in passing.

You were on a course for heaven.

I was falling down to hell.

Was it a glimpse of destiny?

A prelude to imminent collision?

Or just another sigh in time?

 

A friend of a friend introduced us.

You cast your eyes aside.

You said hello in your shy way.

I was speechless.

I could only stare.

Already my heart was melting.

 

Months passed by.

I lay dreaming.

Fond memories of you plagued me.

Your raven hair.

Your liquid eyes.

That shy schoolgirl smile.

 

You’d all but forgotten me.

Life carries on.

You’d become a woman.

But you still weren’t happy.

Your father was strict.

Your mother was cold.

 

You weren’t allowed to date.

You weren’t allowed to have fun.

You felt their shackles binding you.

A traditional family gone too far.

I’m sure that they loved you.

But they were crushing your soul.

 

So you ran away.

As you’d done twice before.

But this time was different.

You wouldn’t be returning.

Your determination was strong.

I was in the shadows, waiting.

 

It was purely by chance.

I found you in the park.

It was close to midnight.

You sat on a bench crying.

So cold.

So alone.

 

I wrapped my trenchcoat around you.

You looked up in surprise.

A spark shot between us.

It was like heaven and hell meeting.

It was like old lovers reunited.

Recognition dawned in your eyes.

 

I took you to an all night cafe.

Filled you up with sweets and lattes.

You poured out your sad tale.

I’d heard it all before, of course.

But this time it touched me.

This time it was real.

 

I drove you to my place.

Insisted you stay the night.

You were hesitant at first.

But so trusting.

You refused to go home.

So you had little choice.

 

I laid you in my bed.

I slid in beside you.

I wrapped my arms around you.

You shivered in fear.

But I only wanted to hold you.

Soon you slept peacefully.

 

You went to school as usual.

The months passed on by.

You had me to to come home to.

A job to occupy your time.

But your heart was still hurting.

Your family denied you.

 

You were eternally greatful.

Truth be told, so was I.

We were so lonely before.

Now we had each other to hang on to.

It was only a matter of time.

Forbidden love grew between us.

 

One night you came home crying.

Your mother had found you.

Angry words were exchanged.

Neither of you understanding.

I held you till midnight.

I kissed away your tears.

 

I laid you in my bed.

I slid in beside you.

I wrapped my arms around you.

You shivered with longing.

You accepted my kisses.

My gentle probings.

 

You burned beneath my fingers.

You writhed at my touch.

Our tongues sought intimate places.

Your pain was exquisite.

I bathed in your blood.

As we made love till dawn.

 

Our nights filled with passion.

Our days with old memories.

Our troubles were forgotten.

We had all that we needed.

In our love for each other.

Forbidden though it be.

 

But spring found us troubled.

Your blood had stopped flowing.

A trip to the doctor.

Confirmed our worst fears.

Not quite sixteen.

You carried my child.

 

Several months passed.

We grew content with this turn.

A child born of love.

Couldn’t be wrong.

But your parents still worried us.

As well as the law.

 

Then it happened late one evening.

My whole world was shattered.

You took off work early.

You weren’t feeling too well.

You clung to me weeping.

You collapsed to the floor.

 

I gasped out in horror.

As blood pooled by your thighs.

I swept you up in my arms.

I dialed 911.

They arrived far too late.

In my embraced you’d grown still.

 

It took less than a week.

A warrant was issued.

Your parents wanted justice.

For the ‘crimes’ I’d committed.

So I loaded up my car.

I just disappeared.

 

I’m still on the road.

A long trip it’s been.

Not a day can pass by.

I think of you and my child.

I’m holed up in a motel.

Deciding my own fate.

 

I sit here and ponder.

This world that we live in.

Twisted and dark.

Like a black stained-glass window.

What kind of people.

Can call love a crime?

 

So I lie back and gaze out.

Through a grimy glass window.

Whiskey in one hand.

Colt .45 in the other.

The tips have been crossed.

The chambers are loaded.

 

The hours pass by.

I lay dreaming.

Fond memories of you plague me.

Your raven hair.

Your liquid eyes.

That shy schoolgirl smile.

 

The time is at hand.

The sirens are wailing.

They’ve caught up to me at last.

One last shot of whiskey.

A click.

A hammer locking into place.

 

The barrel is a memory.

Cool like your lips.

One last kiss to share with you.

I squeeze you tightly.

Together forever.

In crimson ecstasy.

 

Spades and Flowers

This is a poem I’m actually rather proud of. I only did a couple of poems that I considered to be good, at least by my standards. This is one of them. It is entitled “Spades and Flowers.”

All love the children,

Some more than others,

Spades and flowers,

The abuse of a mother,

 

Fourteen years of torture,

Endless skies of sanguine pain,

Voluntary amnesia,

Alone in chartreuse rain,

 

Take flight my little sparrow,

Dreams of azure skies,

Beat your wings against the cage,

Bloody tears that haunt your eyes,

 

Broken doll on a forgotten shelf,

Toyed with and tossed aside,

Leather belts and cigarettes,

No place to run and hide,

 

Father’s sick and twisted love,

Mother’s cold disregard,

Brother long since flown the pen,

Splintered like a broken shard,

 

Designer drugs and dark drenched eyes,

The price your tainted flesh,

Paid in sex and blood and pain,

Sweet death at your own behest,

 

Sad and gray upon the knoll,

Monochrome fills the sky,

Spades and flowers for you sister,

Rusted pain, my heart’s well dry.

Paranoia Sets In

This flat out proves I was and probably still am a total nutcase. This is a very humorous (to people like me at least) take on a quasi poem/short story format. Have fun with “Paranoia Sets In.”

Suffocation,

I can’t breath,

I can’t wake from this nightmare I’m living,

Grab a hold of my dreams,

Pull the curtain aside,

Sit up and gasp,

I can’t believe it,

I was almost smothered,

By my own pillow…again.

Yeah, they’re after me,

They just want me dead,

 

Well, I can’t get back to sleep now,

Might as well get up and get dressed,

I better check the closet for ninjas,

I’ll put on my fancy new suit and tie,

After I make sure there’s nothing ticking in the pockets,

 

Now I can head to the bathroom,

After checking for tripwires,

Take a leak,

Right after I check behind the shower curtain,

I’ll squirt some paste on my toothbrush,

Clean up these teeth,

Wait, is that the bitter scent of almonds I smell?

I think I’ll just floss today,

 

That reminds me,

I’ve gotta be careful at breakfast this morning,

The toaster could be rigged,

Better check for wasabe on my waffles,

Razors in my cornflakes,

Hell, my milk’s probably drugged,

Screw it,

I’ll get something on the way to work,

 

I’ll head out to my beat up old car,

Do a quick 360 inspection,

Is that something dripping underneath?

Yeah, it’s them again,

Bastards probably cut my brake lines,

Screw it,

I’ll just walk today,

It’s not that far,

I’ll get a McMuffin on the way,

Better stick to the shadows though,

Gotta watch out for snipers,

 

I’ll stroll down the sidewalk,

Mind my own business,

Is that a cop up ahead?

Bastards,

They’re all on the take,

They’re all on their payroll,

Shit, he’s right by McDonalds too,

Couldn’t hang out at Duncan Donuts like usual,

Must be onto me,

Better play it cool,

 

It’s a bitch having such an important job,

So many people depend on me,

But you make a lot of enemies in this business too,

Especially if you cross them,

But, I gotta do what I gotta do,

People need me,

I won’t give up now,

I just gotta be careful,

 

Those footsteps seem awfully close,

When I slow down they slow down,

There’s no way that’s a coincidence,

I could get a knife in the back any minute,

Good thing my undies are Kevlar,

No problem,

I can handle this,

I’ve already got my escape route planned out,

I’ll dash down this alley,

Catch a peek over my shoulder,

Blind man walking his dog,

Yeah right,

I’m not buying that for a minute,

 

A couple quick turns,

Up a handy fire escape,

On top of the world,

Oops, no time to get sloppy,

Better stay out of site,

The spy sats are watching,

 

I’ll duck into the shadows,

Make my way to the door,

Four tumblers and a passkey later,

Now I’m inside,

No one can get through these defenses,

I’m a pro, after all,

 

So this is my safe house,

My base of operations,

Can’t get careless though,

That’s every spy’s weakness,

I’ll do a routine security check,

Just to be sure,

 

Well now that that’s out of the way,

I can relax a bit,

Make myself a martini,

It’s a quarter to ten,

I’ll have to open shop soon,

Better get ready,

Just let me check under the counter,

Make sure my shotgun’s in place,

 

Alright,

The place is lit up and open,

It won’t be long now,

My ‘clientele’ will soon gather,

Then I’ll work my magic,

Snoop for information,

I hope there aren’t any assassins in the crowd,

I almost had to kill a man yesterday because of that,

 

Ah here’s my first customer,

Better watch him carefully,

He’s an odd looking sort,

Most of them are,

I’ll just keep an eye out while he browses my wares,

Wait, he’s coming over,

What should I do?

I’ll keep a hand on the shotgun,

You can’t be too careful,

Let’s see what he wants,

A price?

Yeah, right,

They’re all clearly stickered,

You can’t pull one on me,

Is that what you really wanna know?

Oh, it really is?

Well, it’s $9.95,

Yeah I know that’s cheap,

I’m not in this for the money,

I’m in it for the thrill,

 

What, you don’t want it?

Yeah, right,

They sent him,

He’s a spy,

Oh, you want one that vibrates?

I bet you do buddy,

Trying to impress me aren’t you?

Trying to work me like a pro?

Well, I’m not selling one that vibrates to you,

I’m the pro here,

I’ll sell it if I want to and keep it if I don’t,

Yeah, that’s right,

I said no,

Your game is up,

Get out of here,

Don’t ever come back,

You tell them that I’m on the look out,

I know their game,

And I’m not playing,

 

Yeah,

You leave in a huff,

Get a real job kid,

Mess with me and you might end up dead,

I’ll just set back and wait,

Read my morning paper,

It’s gonna be a long day at the old porn shop,

But I’ll persevere,

People need me,

I’m the only thing standing in the way,

Between the common folk,

And them!

Old Bones

This is another weird poem I wrote when I was most likely doing a lot of reading is the goth genre. It’s called “Old Bones.”

Sodden earth,

Cold stones,

The warmth of decay,

Spongy mass of bone, lying silent and black,

Beetles and worms, plodding through the soil that surrounds me.

 

The echo of footsteps,

The weight of vague sorrow,

The rustle of carnations,

Those who knew me, come and go,

A habitual torture, the chains that bind me.

 

Two hundred pounds of granite,

Six feet of rich loam,

The roots and the insects,

Lonely hours, spent shrouded in memory,

This is my prison, this is my home.

 

Faint smells of Autumn,

Dead children on the street,

Whispers of black lace and velvet,

The smoke of cloves, like sacred incense,

Licorice balm of absinthe, green as my distilled pain.

 

Touch them,

Hold them,

Love them,

Split one open, slide into warm flesh,

Wrap one about me, walk among them again.

 

Aching loins,

Burning passions,

Viscious liquid sex,

Alas such sorrow, these things far beyond me,

I lie silent and still, in the cold wet earth.

 

Tender young children,

Pale fragile flesh,

Hot bloodied lips,

All these things lost to me, centuries ago,

But I can still dream, this dream of the damned.

Hollow Beauty

Okay, this one is just weird even for me. I was probably having an odd moment when I was trying too hard. It’s called “Hollow Beauty”

It’s a cold winter’s night,

Lonely and chill,

I lie here by candlelight,

Silent and still,

Dreaming my dreams of you,

Pretender to death,

Wishing to be like you,

Forced to draw breath,

Your alabaster face,

Your deep ebony eyes,

Growing warm in my embrace,

My beating heart to despise,

I’ll hold you forever,

This shell you’ve become,

Till life’s bonds are severed,

Till flesh dulls and numbs,

I wish I could join you,

But I’m still a coward,

No will to carry through,

It’s not in my power,

Perhaps if I lie here,

Secure in despair,

Will the fading of fear,

Finally draw near,

Will my muscles grow slack,

My flesh chill as stone,

Will I fade and lose track,

The deed finally done,

Will my heart finally cease,

My flesh start decay,

On these cold satin sheets,

Through the warm summer days,

Will the return of cold weather,

See the circle ‘round full,

Will we lie here together,

My bones and your skull.

Epiphanies

This poem is pretty dark and spiteful. It was written in the midst of a long term relationship and pretty well expressed the way I was feeling. That would be controlled, used, and taken advantage of with little regard for my feelings. At the same time it reflects the realization that I wasn’t really any better than the other party in the relationship. It’s called “Epiphanies.”

I’ll be honest,

 

I thought I loved you,

But I hate you,

 

With every nuance of my being,

 

You’re the salt in my wounds,

The blood on my knees,

Everything about you disgusts me,

You drain the joy from my existance,

 

I’d slit my wrists a thousand times,

Die a thousand deaths for you,

 

I’d grovel at your sacred feet,

Try to appease the beast within you,

 

But let’s be honest,

 

You think you love me,

But you hate me,

 

Deep within your heart of hearts,

 

I’m the pain of your existance,

Destroyer of your dreams,

I’m the one who finally showed you,

That you only love yourself,

 

So you’ve nailed me to my cross,

Ignored my every need,

 

You’ve made of me a martyr,

An epiphany of pain,

 

I’m afraid I must be honest,

 

I think I might just love you,

For all your wicked deeds,

 

Deep within my heart of hearts,

 

You’re the cause of my wounds,

The reason I bleed,

You’re the lie of my existance,

The fulfillment of my dreams,

 

You wrapped me in your blackened wings,

Killed the love inside me,

 

You siphoned off my inspiration,

Filled me up with bitter empty,

 

Can I please be brutally honest,

 

I’m quite sure now that I love you,

I’ve no doubt now that I hate you,

 

With every nuance of my being,

 

You’ve stripped away all I was,

Covered me with all your nothing,

I’ve died my little deaths in you,

You’ve feasted on my agonies,

 

You’ll make of me a puppet yet,

Pull my tattered strings,

 

I’ll smile my wooden smiles for you,

For already I’m quite dead.